"Time was better when they killed daughters at the time of birth..atleast it was quick...Now they kill her single day by snatching dreams, stealing freedom and crushing dignity."
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It was one peaceful day, gents were not present and ladies of the house were busy in their work and a girl of about 5 years, was playing with her toys in her room. After playing for sometime she felt thirsty. She was going towards kitchen for drinking water. She entered in the kitchen, she was about to pour water from glass jug when she sneezes, the result was jug and glass fell down from her hand and it shattered .
Hearing this two ladies came and when they saw the broken glass jug one of them started scolding the girl child .
"Kya hai ye, jab dekho tab nuksaan karti rehti ho. Jab dhang se cheez lena nahi aata to maang nahi sakti thi kya.? Kya jarurat thi khud se lene ki . Ab ho gya na nuksaan. ?
Second lady picked up the girl child and said to the first one, "bs kijiye didi. Bachi hai ho gya is se. Jug he to tha, itna kyu daant rahi ho use . Laddo tujhe kahin lagi to nahi na .?" She was hell worried and scanned her from top to toe.
"Sapna tum log ise bigaad rahe ho. Ise cheezein sambhalna aana chahiye. Abhi se seekhegi tabhi aage kaam aayega. "
"Didi abhi sirf wo mushkil se abhi 5 saal ke hai. Abhi uski khelne ki, masti karne ki umar hai, abhi se usey ye sab kyu sikhana. ?"
"Masti, khelna. ? Arey ladki hai wo. Aur ladkiyo ko ghar ka kaam, use sambhaalna aana chahiye na ki khelna. ! Aage jaakar yahi karna hai inhe. Masti kaam nahi aayegi, ghar sambhaalna kaam aayega.
They were Aastha and Sapna and the girl child was Samayara .
They didn't even realise that Samayara was crying but silently .
"Chal aaj store room mein band krti hoon, tabhi tujhe pta chalega ki nuksaan karne ka kya nateeza hota hai." She harshly took her from Sapna's hug and grab her wrist very tightly and rushed towards the store room to lock her just for the broken jug.
"Aaahhhh,,,,maa,, maa.. boht dard ho... raha hai,,,, please chhod do...aage ....se nahi karungi...aisa." she was crying while hiccuping
"Nahi Aaj to tujhe rehna padega store room mein. "
"Maa..maa..maa...please , soo... sorry...sorry..sorry maa... main..aage..se.. aisa..nahi...karungi.. "
And then she was locked up in store room and that too with lights off.
She was crying very badly and banging the door but no one came to open the door.
"Chachi.....maaa....daadii...please darwaza khol do ....mujhe darr lag raha hai ....please maa...main aage se nahi karungi aisa .... " She was crying very badly. But no one was there.. because her mother didn't want to.
After sometime, Aastha came and opened the door just to find her sitting with head on her knees and sobbing with hiccups. Aastha called her, when Samayara lift her face from her knees she came towards her mother just to hug her. She do hug her but not in motherly way.
Samayara keep on saying sorry for so many times. She hold her and said in anger, "Sorry bolne se nuksaan kamm ho jaayega kya. ? Aaj k baad agar nuksaan hua to mujhse bura koi nahi hoga. Ab ja kamre mein." She didn't caress her, didn't show any concern towards her condition. She stood and went back to do her work .
Samayara was still seating on the floor and she was still crying . Though she was just 5 years but still she was mature. She didn't understand why glass jug was more important than her.! Why her mother keep on repeating the word nuksaan , nuksaan. ? Why ?
She was crying and with every sob she was saying sorry maa ....sorry maaa....
" Sorry maa....sorry maa... Ab se aisa nahi hoga .... "
I woke from sleep in jolt. I didn't realise I was crying in reality . I just had my harsh memory in my dreams.
And I didn't even realise when I sleep while crying.
Isn't it irony , aap sote bhi rote rote ho aur uthte bhi rote rote ho .!!!!
Now I can't sleep. I went back to the wordings of my sister .
What was and what is my fault if I am second born girl child.?
What was my fault if my mother had a miscarriage and they lost their unborn baby boy. ?
What was my fault that she can't conceive again.?
Why is it I have to sacrifice my happiness, my share of love , care and warmth. No doubt I do have parents but I don't have my maa and papa.
Yes, I don't have maa and papa kyu ki wo sirf apni responsibility nibha rahe hain aur main ye bhi jaanti hoon ki wo ye sab jabardasti nibha rahe hain . Unhe hamesha se ladka chahiye tha aur isiliye jab main hone wali thi tab meri bua ne meri maa ko dawaai dilwayi thi ladka hone waali. I know this harsh reality and it broke me from inside when I accidentally got to know that.
Frankly speaking when I got to know the reality of my birth, I eagerly wanted to end up my life. There were so many times when I want to commit suicide and I even tried.
But every time I was unfortunate because I survived. And the person who save me from these were my chachi and shaurya bhaiya. And I got scolded by them very very very badly
Sometimes I wish main unhi ki beti hoti atleast wo pyaar aur care to milti jiske liye main apni saari umar taras gayi. I know they love me a lot but I also know they were scared when my parents got to know they got my wishes true but the genuine ones.
They didn't pamper me, they didn't pity me either. They only love me and that I love it. I don't need anything just LOVE , LOVE and LOVE .
Back then when there were no inverters, I wish my mother had not woken up the day when a cloth was burning from a candle and it was about to fall on me. Why do they save me when they don't want me . Marr jaane dete, unhe bhi sukoon milta aur mujhe bhi.
I know how it feels when you are ignored from your loved ones. Every sister is a calm to her younger siblings but not in my case. I watch every sister duo or even trio when they share a very good bond with each other. But I don't. I have no shame in admitting that I always feel jealous whenever I saw sisters sharing a very good and unbreakable bond. My sister is also a girl then why she didn't understand my condition. ? Why she always play a blame game. ?
I read so many stories, I saw so many families who share a very good bond but what wrong i have done. ?
Isn't it a basic duty that elders have to take care of their younger ones whether they are siblings, friends . But why they don't remember this basic duty in my case.
Why do I feel like in fulfilling this basic duty they feel so much burden .
Whenever there was PTM or any function happened in our school every parent came to school to cheer up their children but in my case .. hahahahha...my parents didn't came.
You know who came to my functions or PTM's, Chachu-chachi. Wo log Ghar se bahana bana kar aate they, every single time. Har baar teacher ko jhooth bolte they making excuses.
I always feel happy atleast they show up.
But I do feel bad every time when my parents didn't came. Infact I question everytime why didn't they came but got same reply from my mother "papa busy they aur main akele kaise aati . ?"
( Only if they tried. )
When I was in 6th standard, there was fancy dress competition in our school and I wanted to become cindrella. I told my mother and you know what was her reply, "kya jarurat hai ye sab mein part lene ki. Pehle he ghar mein kitne saare kharche hote hain aur ab is competition k liye tujhe nayi dress chahiye. Aur phir wo dress aise he padi rahegi. Koi jarurat nahi, apna naam waapis le le. "
When I heard the reply, I couldn't control myself and go on the terrace. She didn't even care ki 6 saal ka bacha terrace par jaayega aur agar wo neeche gir gya to. ?
That would be easy for them also. Mujhe waise to maar nahi sakte they, naam khraab hota society mein ki apni he beti ko maar diya.
Agar main terrace se neeche gir jaati to atleast ye ho jaata ki bachi khelte hue neeche gir gayi.
Spending alone time and that too on terrace is always a JANNAT to me. You can spoke your heart out to moon and nobody will judge you.
I remember I was seating on floor and was crying very badly when I feel a hand on my shoulder. I got scared, startled I turn around just to witness my chachu and shaurya bhaiya was there.
"Kya hua, itni jor jor se kyu ro Rahi ho. ? Kisi ne kuch kaha kya. ? " Concern was there on their faces and it was genuine. They were not showing it.
Till then I didn't realise that I was crying badly and loudly. " Chachu , mujhe cindrella..bann na hai aur mujhe...iske liye ek dress... chahiye but mummy...ne mna kar diya.... aur bola ki koi jarurat.... nahi hai in sab k... upar paise... kharch karne ki." My sobs turned into hiccups.
"Bas itni si baat, main baat karta hoon tai ji se.." Shaurya bhaiya said while getting up and was ready to going towards stairs.
"Nahi bhaiya, please aap baat mat karna warna wo mujhe daantengi ."
"Achha chal abhi raat hone waali hai aur aise yahan akele nahi baithte . Chal humaare room mein chal. " Chachu said very calmly.
When I went to their room, chachi was there and was knitting something. When she saw my red and puffy eyes she clearly jumped from bed just to cup my cheeks.
"Kya hua, ye kya halat bnaayi hai apni. Itna kyu royi. ?"
I told her everything. "Bas itni si baat , arey mere paas aati na. Itna rone ki kya jarurat thi. Main bnaa kar dungi apni laddo ko cindrella waali dress , tu bas chup ho ja." Chachi replied while caressing my hair.
"Nahi chachi, aap mat bnaao , mummy mujhe daantengi aur aapko bhi. Main competition se apna naam waapis le lungi. Mujhe achha nahi lagega agar aapko kisi ne kuch kaha to." I was crying while saying this.
Chachu, shaurya bhaiya and Arjun bhaiya were also there.
"Jhalli, kisi ko pta nahi chalega aur na hum kisi ko batayenge. Bus tu ye bta, tujhe cindrella ki dress chahiye ya nahi." That was Arjun bhaiya.
"Bhaiya aap bolte bhi ho mere saath. ? Chachi dekho bhaiya ne mujhse baat ki. Bhaiya ko bukhaar to nahi hai na chachi, aap please check karo na. " I was shocked that he actually spoke.. no no he teased me .
It was rare when there was communication between me and Arjun bhaiya .
"Mummy is chuhiya ko samjha lo. Ek to main iski side le raha hoon aur ye mujhe he chidha rahi hai. Rukk abhi taai ji ko bta kar aata hoon ki ye cindrella bann ne waali hai. " He said while showing fake anger and going out from the room.
"Haan,, haan jaao jaao, aapko to achha lagega na jab wo mujhe maarengi aur mujhe andhere kamre mein band kar dengi. Hai na. ? " I didn't realise what I said until there was multiple gasps which I heard .
"Pagal, aaj bol diya dobara mat bolna ye baat. Tujhe pta humaari jaan jaati hai jab wo tujhe kuch kehte hain. Humein bilkul achha nahi lagta jaisa tere saath hota hai. " It was chachi and she was crying very badly.
She genuinely loves me.
"Chachi main aapki beti nahi ban sakti kya.? "
"Paglu, tu meri beti he to hai. Phir kya hua maine tujhe Janam nahi diya , maa to main hoon teri. Hoon na. ? "
I just hummed not able to form any words due to lump formed in my throat and simply laid in her lap. She lovingly caressed my hair and then she kissed me on my forehead.
"Main tujhe dress bana kar dungi aur ghar mein kisi ko pta nahi chalega . Samjhi."
"Okay chachi. " I didn't know when I fell asleep in her lap .
( I forgot to tell you that we all siblings were in same school . Thanks to these boys that we girls got to studied in co-ed school . Back then there happened so much hungama in our house just for taking admission in co-ed school but thank God that time chachu were adamant to let us study in co-ed school and God knows what happened to my grandparents mind that they agree. AGREE. ? Can you imagine . THEY FUCKING AGREED . Thank you chachu. Love you . You are the best . )
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AUTHOR'S POV
Dheer, Sapna, Arjun and shaurya basically her chachu's family, they didn't like the way that Harsh and Aastha treated their daughters specially Sam. Everytime she ran towards her parents they simply ignore her. Sometimes she fell asleep while crying.
Sapna and Dheer tried to talk to Aastha and Harsh but they ignored it by saying , "arey iski wajah se humein ladka nahi hua, agar ladka hota to kitna sahi hota. Iski wajah se.main dobara maa nahi ban paayi. Tumhaare paas to do ladke Hain na to tum kya jaano jab ladki hoti hai to kaisa lagta hai. Ladki hai kuch saal baad apne ghar chali jaayegi, humaara kaun dekhega . ? Kaun humein sambhaalega . ? "
They both got hurt whenever they hear these things. So they decided not to talk about this with them in future.
But that doesn't mean that their love for Sam faded. Naahhh... infact the love, care and warmth for her was growing every single day. And Samayara also loved them from her heart.
Did they pity her. ? NEVER . Did they pamper her. ? No. Because they know their Sam. She only wants love and care. One smile and she is gone . She didn't want pampering and that's her speciality. That's why she is special .
Sometimes they feel someone has tied their hands when Samayara was getting scolded badly from her parents and they couldn't do anything .
They always thought if in their presence she was getting scolded to that level, how they were treating her when she would be alone.
It's not like they didn't talk about it with their elders but do they get any positive response. Naaaahhhhh..
Jab ghar k bujurag sahi hote hain na, jab unka dimaag achhe se kaam karta hai, jab wo kisi aur ki na sun kar apne dimaag ka istemaal karte hai to ghar swarg ban jaata hai aur bache achhe se grow karte hain. Par wo dimaag kaise istemaal karenge, dimag to unka ghutno mein hai na.
Only her chachu- chachi know how much they have craved for a girl child. Ghar mein ladki hona kitni bhagya ki baat hai .
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