You didn't just break my heart - you taught it how to live with cracks "
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Aarav's POV
It's been a month since I left her or rather say I kicked her and the word love out of my life. Now I don't want any woman in my life. Only woman that matter to me are women of my family . They are my heartbeat and I can go to any extent if anyone laid eyes on them. I don't believe in God now. I loved her with my everything and what GOD did to me, HE made me not to believe in any women and in love. I don't believe in love.
In college too , earlier I used to feel happy when girls drool over me because that time I was happy that I was one woman man and my woman was very proud of it. So I happily break the hearts of every girl with my loyalty towards my woman.
MY WOMAN. TO HELL WITH THAT WOMAN.
THAT WOMAN TAUGHT ME HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT LOVE.
First days of my heartbreak were very drastic. I never had that amount of alcohol in my life which I drank in those initial days. My family members always got tensed whenever I came home drunk. Every time my friends dropped me at my home.
They too were very sad looking at my condition. They tried every single thing to distract my mind from her. We usually spend our weekend together. It was always their idea so that I got free from her thoughts.
Earlier whenever I came home drunk, my family, specially my mom got worried by seeing my condition. She didn't say any word, she didn't need to as I can read her eyes. So, for her I reduce my intake of alcohol and only take on weekend and on that day I either go to hotel or to our penthouse which we besties bought together.
In the initial days of my break up they force me to go on trip but I refused everytime. I know, I may sound rude, arrogant that I don't care for their feelings, but what can I do. ?
I am trying to move on from that but I am not able to. Everytime I try I go back to the days where I feel happy with her. I know I shouldn't do but is dil ko kaun samjhaye.
I loved her from all my heart and what I got heartbreak.!!
Why people don't consider the feelings, why they have to run behind money and fame. ?
This whole world is fucking fake. There is no value of others love, all they want is money, money and money.
BLOODY GOLDDIGGERS.
One day, when I came home from college I was not in mood to talk to anyone.
When I entered the living area , I saw my mother seating on the sofa. She was crying.
I was shocked why she is crying.?
I left my laptop bag on table and sat beside my mom and asked her , "mom why are you crying.? Did anything happened.?"
She cried like a child and replied, "Yes, beta Boht kuch ho gya. !"
I got shocked and negative thoughts occupied my mind. What would have happened.? Why she is crying so much.?
I have never seen her crying like this.
I immediately hugged her and asked in polite and calm tone , "mom please tell me what happened, I can't see you like this. !"
She hugged me back and said the same words , " I ALSO CAN'T SEE YOU LIKE THIS MERA BACHA ."
Thats when I realised that the whole time she was talking about me.
I gently pulled back and hold her hand and told her ,"Mom, I am okay, nothing happened to me. See I am in front of you. Aur kya chahiye aapko ?
To which she replied, "Mujhe mera beta chahiye pehle jaisa."
I chuckled and said , "Main to pehle jaisa he hoon mom."
She said , "Beta main jaanti hoon jo tere saath hua wo theek nahi tha. Galti usne ki, dhokha usne Diya , sajaa tu khud ko kyu de Raha hai.?
Tere saath saath hum sab bhi sajaa bhugat rahe hain .! Tu hum sabki jaan hai. Tu apne baare mein na sahi, humaare baare mein to soch. Wo ladki jisne tujhe dhokha diya, wo to kahin na kahin khush hogi but tu apna kya haal kar raha hai..?
Tu apni parwah mat kar par apne parivaar ka to soch. Hum sab tujhe aise nahi dekh sakte. Mera dil Boht toot jaata hai jab main tujhe aise dekhti hoon. Beta move on kar. I am not saying ki kisi aur ko apni life mein aane de but atleast unke saath, unke liye to khud ko theek rakh jo tere apne hain, teri family tere friends. Beta tere friends teri aur tu unki jaan hai. Tu unhe bhi kyu sajaa de raha hai aise kar k. Sab theek ho jaayega. Hum sab family members tere saath hain. Tujhe akele sab nahi jhelna hai."
That's when I realise ki main sabko kitna dukh de Raha hoon. She is right ki wo to kahin na kahin settle hogi. Main kyu apni apne parivaar aur apne dosto ki life barbaad kr raha hoon. ?
In this past month I didn't talk properly to anyone. They came to me, tried everything but what I did. I shut my doors and build the walls high. I don't want to hear the word love. I just need myself. I don't want anyone in my life. But what I missed was the care,.love from my family and that too from my own ignorance. They tried every single thing.
That was the last thread of my pain.
I again hugged her and cried like a kid. I cried my heart out.
I asked her ,"Why me maa .? Usne mujhe itna bada dhokha kyu Diya maa ? Maine to use sache dil se pyaar kiya tha na.? She was my first love.
Maa, use agar meri daulat chahiye thi to mujhse aise he bol deti. Mere saath pyaar ka naatak kyu kiya maa .?
She caress my hair and told me , " Beta wo uski bewkoofi thi jo usne tere pyaar se jyaada paise ko importance di.
Har kisi k andar ye capability nahi hoti ki wo pyaar ko samajh sake. Usne paise ko choose Kiya.
Ab tu bhi ab move on kar aur khud par apni life par focus kar. Dekh tune kya haal bana liya hai apna.
Chal tu fresh ho kar aa jaa main tere liye khana lgaati hoon .
I asked her if she feed me with her own hands and she replied, "ye bhi koi kehne ki baat hai."
She kissed on my forehead ,got up from sofa and walked towards kitchen. I also left for my room.
I got into washroom , stand under the shower and recalled my mother's words. She was actually right why I am punishing myself and my family and friends. They didn't spare a single chance to cheer me up. Why I behaved like a teenager.
I somehow decided to give myself a chance to move on but not to fell in love.
PYAAR KI MERI JINDAGI MEIN AB KOI JAGAH NAHI HAI.
MUJHE PYAAR HAI TO SIRF APNI FAMILY SE AUR APNE FRIENDS SE.
Baaki sab k liye main rude, arrogant hoon aur rahunga.
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It was one Friday evening when they decide to go for outing on hill station. To get relax from traffic, from pollution whether it's of environment or from our thoughts. I agreed. As I also need change from everything. I decided to move on. One can't rely on alcohol to survive.
As a professor I need to be atleast presentable in front my students. So with alcohol it was not possible. I need to work out on my looks again which I worsened myself by remaining in her thoughts who was no longer a part of my life.
So we decided to go to Dehradun, Mussoorie. A peaceful place to clear the thoughts..
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We took car of Sid as I was not in mood of driving . I only want to look outside the window but I also don't want to ruin their mood too. I actually throw myself in backseat. Sid was driving. Vidit on passenger seat and Rudraksh beside me .
( Did I introduce my besties to you. No. ?
Oh... How can I forget to introduce my brothers from another mother.
Here is a brief intro to them.
Sidhaant aka sid , a well renowned criminal lawyer.
Vidit , a well settled chef. Has some restaurant chains in India as well as in abroad too and want to open some more and working hard on it.
Rudraksh our Singham . I think Singham is only intro you need . You can judge by the name given to him by us what kind of a person he is.
I am a professor. I do want to join business just like my family members but teaching is my passion that's why I picked up stream of business communication so that by any chance if in future I have to join the company or to build my own company I can happily do that. Till then I want to enjoy my passion.
That's it with the briefing now let's go to trip. )
We left delhi by 5'o clock in the evening. so that we can travel non stop and you all know traffic of NCR. It's horrible. Uuurrrggghhhh..
Hotels were booked in advance to avoid any delay , thanks to digitalization. Every thing is advance now. It took us almost 7 hours to reach mussoorie. We hardly stop at two points to freshen up, to have some cigarette and to have some food. We avoid smoking in car.
We reach our hotel which was on mall road. The ambience was calm. We checked in and went to our respective rooms. We booked separate rooms as we respect each other's privacy. We are boys and we have so many things to do 😉.
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Next morning.
We get ready and had our breakfast. We decided to go to mussoorie lake and do boating first as the weather was not very hot. We enjoyed boating and to some extent I also feel good.
Next stop was Gun hill. We reach there by cable car ride. The scenic view was mind blowing. It is so mesmerizing that we all lost in it for some time. We didn't talk during that time.
Bas hum log wahan ka najara dekh rahe they.
We had some snacks. Clicked some pictures. Singham and Vidit are so photo addict. They clicked every possible view around them. I was not in mood of any photo so I hardly have 3-4 photos wo bhi unke force krne par.
I excused myself and went to use restroom.
When I was coming back, I saw a girl with two boys . I didn't see her face but I can see that one of the boy was holding her wrist. She might be feeling uncomfortable. My inner feelings were saying to go there and ask her if she was okay or not. But the next moment , I left from there.
I know you might be thinking what kind of man I am.?
Now I don't care about any other girl. Only girl who matter to me is my sister.
Without wasting any time I was with my friends.
We spend some moments and then left from there.
While coming back to hotel, it was evening time.
We were in our respective rooms as we decided to visit mall road after freshen up .
We spend our evening on mall road. Having street food, doing some shopping for our family. I know you might me wondering Boys ho k shopping wo bhi family k liye.
Yes, you heard it right. We spend time for choosing things for our families.
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How these 2 days passed , I was shocked. Because I hardly get any negative thoughts in my mind specially of her. I do drink but not to that level. Just little bit to give them company.
The weekend went very well and the trip was cherry on top . I really enjoyed the weekend. Thanks to my family and these chimpanzees. 😉
I need to focus on my career, my family and friends. They are the only thing that matter to me most now.
Daulat se pyaar karo sirf utna ki tumhaara rishta kabhi kharaab na ho.
Daulat jaroori hai, main jaanta hoon, par pyaar bhi jaroori hai
Usne Daulat se itna pyaar kiya ki wo mujhe pyaar se nafrat karna sikha gayi. Aur ab mujhe pyaar se koi pyaar nahi hai. Sab moh maaya hai.
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